Joke: Engineers!

Comprehending Engineers, --Take One
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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed, "What's with these guys? "We must have been waiting
for 15 minutes! " The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
rather slow, aren't they?" The greenskeeper replied, "Oh,
yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent
for a moment. The pastor said,  "That's so sad. I think I
will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor
said, "Good idea and I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
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Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
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There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing
all things mechanical.  After serving his company loyally
for over 30 years, he happily retired.  Several years later
the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible
problem they were having with one of their multi-million
dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else
to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.  In desperation,
they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many
of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took
the challenge.  He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a
particular component of the machine and proudly stated,
"This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and
the machine worked perfectly again.  The company received a
bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.  They
demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark                       $1
Knowing where to put it         $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
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Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
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What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and
Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
targets.
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Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it
work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will
it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want
fries with that?"
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Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
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Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
the possible designers of the human body.  One said, "It was
a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The
nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer.  Who else
would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
area?"
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Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a
mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
of the passion and mystery he found there.  The engineer
said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah.  If you have a
wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending
time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
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Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
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An engineering student was walking across campus when
another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. "Where
did you get such a great bike?" asked the first. The second
engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on
this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first
engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."