Joke: Chinese torture A man had been lost and wandering in the Chinese wilderness for 3 months. All he had to eat was what he could forage and was forced to sleep wherever he could find meager shelter. One day he came upon an old farm house. In answer to his knock, an old Chinese gentleman asked "What do you want?" "I have been lost in the wilderness for 3 months and have not had a decent meal or night's sleep in just as long. May I stay the night?" The old man agreed under the condition that there be no messing with his granddaughter. "I will cause you no trouble," the man said. "That's very good," said the old man, "because if I catch you with my granddaughter, you will suffer the 3 most severe Chinese tortures." The granddaughter attended the evening meal and the man was awe-struck by her beauty. Since he had been alone for so long and she had not been with a man in her life, they could hardly keep their eyes off each other during the meal. Later that night the man crept into her room and they had a terrific time together. They were careful to be quiet lest they awaken the grandfather. Afterwards the man returned to his room (on the third floor), and thought: "That marvelous experience was worth enduring a thousand tortures." He then fell promptly asleep and had the best sleep in 3 months. Upon awakening he felt an incredible weight on his chest. He then realized that there was a 100 pound rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign that read: "1st Chinese Torture - 100 Pound Rock On Chest." This is some lame torture thought the man as he carried it over to the window and threw it out. Then he noticed another sign on the bottom of the rock: "2nd Chinese Torture - Right Testicle Tied To Rock." Knowing that it was too late to catch the rock, the man hurled himself out of the window after it. Passing through the window, the man saw a third sign on the window ledge: "3rd Chinese Torture - Left Testicle Tied to Bedpost."